her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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