I love black thongs
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
