Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
The air taste purple.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
