WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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