I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
