i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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