Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
