i would punch a child for taco bell
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
