VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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