My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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