Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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