tell your sister to shave her snatch
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
