if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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