I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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