and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
