the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
