id be glad to
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
