So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Your penis caused this!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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