I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
