don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
