you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We're too hungover to prance.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Randomize
