i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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