I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
