if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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