so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
