You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Bring me that man meat
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
