that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Randomize
