I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
