Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
