True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
