in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
