when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
