Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
