I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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