Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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