I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
