Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
