Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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