She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
