hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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