im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
