i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Is it penis luge time yet?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
