Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
