I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
try to milk me bitch
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