we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
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