physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
