new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
