i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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