just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
