Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Jerry, you need to find god
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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