No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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