So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I currently don't understand fingers.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
