OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
