I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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